Whiskey Neat: The Bull Market

Mar 28, 2018  Emily Lewis, Thinker, Drinker, and Finance Tinkerer

Whiskey Neat is a developing series of explanations for concepts used around Boogey or even in the wild. The goal is to provide you with exactly as much theoretical bullshit as you need (no more, no less), instill the confidence to get moving, and for the whole thing to go down nice and smooth. The titular beverage of this project may or may not be autobiographical, so let’s get to it.

Today’s Selection: The Bull Market


This full-bodied, all-purpose everyman whiskey hails from the Stock Market Kingdom as well as the Crypto Frontier, and even sometimes the Nerd Islands of the vast Colloquial Sea.


The Bull Market can be considered to have its own dope statue on Wall Street if you’re an optimist. The little girl staring it down has caused some confusion lately…

A Bull Market is basically just when the prices of shares or coins or what have you are rising steadily. That’s it! Wasn’t so bad, was it?

So here’s the necessary theoretical bullshit:

The economy can’t always be good and won’t stay down forever when it falls. The bull market commences when a bunch of previously stingy investors finally get back in the game. You’ll see it when a receding economy starts to get its shit back together.

Eventually, the newfound optimism becomes contagious as more people have spare cash to invest, so the market works off of a positive feedback loop and share prices keep rising until every news channel refuses to shut up about record-breaking values seen today at the closing bell (!).

The economy giveth-and-taketh-away cycle moves the prices back down after a while because people always get just a little too zealous about what they’re buying into. Asset prices will usually fall steadily then cycle back up.

When it breaks, though, prices fall a little, investors pull out, prices fall a lot, and the market might just crash. (Spoiler alert: If Die Hard were about the stock market, not Nakatomi Plaza, Hans Gruber would be the Bear Market)

That’s Neat!

  • You are the bull! The bull on Wall Street and before “market” represents the ambition-fueled investors as they charge at the fresh feeling of opportunity. You’re the Bull, and the market’s the Market. Put ‘em together and you’ve got a Bull Market. Hop in while the rumblings are low!
  • Don’t be bullheaded, though. It usually seems to everyone besides those who pay attention that the prices will just never stop climbing. Never invest more than you have to spare, and add a hype-o-meter to your finance toolbox. If the price of a stock is way too high compared to how cool its product is, you’re better off investing elsewhere.
  • Always enjoy whiskey and investing responsibly.